4 Signs of Disrespecting, Discouraging Communication
Talking at you instead of with you.
Have you ever had someone talk to you, as though they were speaking in slow motion, with simplified words?
Not listening to what you said.
Have you ever had to repeat for the umpteenth time something you have told someone? When I have to repeat myself I honestly question, “what were they thinking about, that meant more?”.
Interrupting you to talk.
Have you ever had a conversation where you loose your train of thought, because you were interrupted again? Nothing is more frustrating then when someone interrupts me, as though what they have to say is so much more important than what I was saying. Normally, I just stop talking and wait…sometimes, the amount of time I spend waiting surprises me. I have noticed this happens a lot at family gatherings…lol.
Texting on their cell phone while your talking.
Have you ever been talking to someone and the picked up their phone and started texting? This is a sign to me that what I have to say is not important at all, that your time is better spent answering messages. Family has a habit of doing this when they are in a crunch for time.
These are four signs that boundaries need to be set. Don’t be afraid to stop the conversation, just stop talking. Change your approach, to conversation with this individual because whatever you are doing isn’t really working, right? “When asked what is a matter?”, that is the perfect time to bring up your boundaries and comfort zones. After all, no matter what YOU COUNT and what you say matters. If needed do a written inventory, list everything that you bring to the table of conversation so that you are aware of what you offer in a conversation as well as what your expectations are.
It helps to role play, in situations that involve your conversations, whether it be a work conversation, family conversation. Practice when each of these disruptive behaviors happen in your conversation how you would like to handle them. Keep in mind the goal is to improve your conversation techniques while helping another communicate better with you. One of the best tactics I use when this happens is to merely stand up, and say “you are obviously very busy, I will talk to you later, at a better time”. The point is to modify the behavior. You cannot change how people react to you in conversation but you can change how you react to the lack of boundaries.