Healing in Recovery – Excess baggage?

At some point in time, we all realize that to grow, we have to root around in unresolved feelings. OUCH! With this comes the realization that growth is painful. With that pain comes the knowledge of the best of growth happens in the surrounding invasion of our exploring minds. Spiritual awakenings…and more.

As we move through our steps, or are re-working our steps, is normally how it happens. You know….that step called four kinda starts it all. Each time I go through the steps I find out a little more that I can work on to improve myself. I start to admit that I to had a part in things. I realize the parts of others and the roles they played. Now I can separate what I control…only my reactions and actions. Just mine, no one else’s and better yet, I am not responsible for their actions or reactions to me either.

NOT realizing this at an early state in my life, enabled me to pick up all kinds of baggage and carry it with me. As the more time passed the hill of luggage got pretty steep. I carried a lot of guilt for things that were not even in my control, I had to let go! I carried a lot of guilt for all the things that were in my control, and that I could of handled a lot better. You name it…I felt guilty. The weight of that guilt was horrendous! Bottom line was if, I felt guilty that meant I was really sorry for whatever it was that I thought I had done…kinda like penance.

WHOA! Now I know so much better, I am only responsible for MY actions and MY reactions, I cannot control others and make them do the right thing, the wrong thing, or anything. Taking ownership actually allowed me to see things clearly…”You can take a horse to water but you cant make him drink”. Realizing this lifted so much weight off my shoulders, weight that just enabled others, as well as enabled me. I was able to leave all that baggage behind me in the past, where I took the lessons learned and applied them to improving my life.

Yes, at times my face turns red once in a while, as some groggy, foggy memory of times long gone past, flashes before my eyes. Not very often, always without warning, right? I kinda smile when this happens, as I have learned…I am not that person today. That’s right. I can now leave that baggage behind me, and allow myself to heal fully. Drop that weight from your shoulders. I did it and you can too.