Introducing Scotti L she is a recovery warrior. Scotti is our public relations coordinator. She is responsible for checking out new groups, sharing our posts with established groups, closed, open or secretive. She carries the message of Hope in Recovery through Love, Light & Laughter throughout recovery groups on Facebook. Scotti L shares her recovery in her story found below. A fascinating, story of recovery that gives hope to all in recovery.
Hi my name is Scotti L and I am 54 years old and am 130 weeks, 14,840 days, 30 months and 2 1/2 years old! I think I am old enough to write so here I go!
My story is not one of sadness or regret but of miracles that have happened because I am an Alcoholic. I came into this world and almost died at birth. But that wasn’t Gods plan. From the time I was learning to walk and talk my whole life began to change. My father, grandfather and brother began to abuse me sexually. A s the years went by I started feeling so alone and everyday I wished I wasn’t born. By the time I turned 8 I knew this was not what I wanted for my life. So alcohol became my best and only friend until I did almost die on September 2nd of 2011.
Growing up wasn’t all that bad but having to live with such shame and guilt the only way I could be “happy” was to drink. Years went by and by the time I graduated High School I was a total functioning alcoholic. I worked and went to Europe and did a lot of positive things and tried to ‘fit in” but it just wasn’t happening. Alcohol was my umbilical cord to breathe and when I did finally get chronic liver disease at 30, the doctors said you can never drink again or you will burst out of every crevice and bleed to death. I walked out of the hospital after six weeks and that was my first real bout with sobriety. I was angry though because how was I to live without my bottle? Seeing as I never was bottle fed and robbed of my childhood, I wasn’t a “happy camper” but I didn’t want to burst and that did scare me. I stayed sober for 6 years and “faked it”. My outside was smiling but my heart was still empty and I kept asking myself why me? So one day I decided that my stomach wasn’t blown up and I was healthy maybe one drink wont kill me. Well that’s true one wont but we know the “one” word! After the years went by I found myself in and out of jail, rehabs, sober living and finally the street. My liver couldn’t take it and I started to lose my mind. When I drank it’d go right to my brain so I could drink like a faucet that never turns off. After so many years I lost track of everything. Being homeless and pushing my shopping cart, sleeping under bridges, eating out of dumpsters, pan handling, flying signs and I can’t forget the seizures in between. But I still kept drinking and when I did go to sleep the only thing I prayed for was “please God just let me go” and that wasn’t in his plan! My sister who lives in Canada and is my Angel had a feeling I was really going to die this time so she flew here and found me at a Motel. I had enough money to stay there for 1 week. The owner new me from my dumpster diving there and he told her I was there but was not going to let me die in one of his rooms. So she came and I really don’t remember much after that except I was put into the ICU here in Ventura for 3 weeks in a coma. When I woke up it was not only a miracle but I was not the same. I know it was God who came and pulled me out to be with him. I can’t explain it but it is a “gift” that has been given to me. I was reborn and given a new life. Still to this day I don’t know what happened but that “hole” in my heart is filled and I am no longer that little girl that never wanted to be born. Today and everyday and minute and second I am grateful and my sobriety is a priceless gift that I cherish! I hope that my sharing will inspire and help and I thank you all for being in my life and allowing me into yours! Amen!