6 months clean/sober – Ramblings of a recovering addict

6 months clean & soberTonight makes 6 months that I have been clean/sober. It feels like I am viewing the world through a set of rose colored glasses. I feel so positive and upbeat, everywhere I turn I see rainbows holding hidden blessings that I am about to discover. When I walk I actually feel pink clouds. I have learned to often visualize pink clouds surrounding me with rays of warmth and goodness.

Where has the time gone to 6 months. At 6 months I have a whole new routine, shower, makeup, coffee. No more laying in bed, no more self-hate. I can now look back over my shoulder and see the progress I have made. I am no longer afraid of the shadows, all the shadow men have gone permanently. I no longer think of the police all the time, being around the corner, waiting for me. “They never were!” How good it feels to say that, the extreme paranoia has dissipated.

Old habits being replaced with new ones. No longer wearing my hair down long covering my face, hiding my emotions and thoughts. It’s ironic I was so scared to get sober/clean, every day I am gaining more and more confidence. Change is not as scary as it was, the fears are easing. Change has gotten me out of the darkness and into the light. I feel like a person that has been in a cage for a long long time, in a dark tunnel and now I have been set free.

For the first time, I have become aware of a word, “self-love”. I never realized how much I hated myself. I was always so busy loving others, in my twisted own way, that I thought I did not deserve love from anyone, especially myself. I have to love myself first before I am capable of loving another. I will learn to love.

Tonight I am going to both meetings, one at AA to get my 6-month coin, and one at NA to get my 6-month keytag. I can’t wait.

This is a journal entry taken from my recovery journal of my thoughts at 6 months I call Ramblings of a Recovering Addict.

Hope in Recovery

Patricia Hole is a 62-year-old survivor of addiction, childhood mental and physical abuse, rape, chronic health conditions. She shares her journey of becoming a winner through tragedies suffered by sharing her inspiration of how to recover from those situations. Her journey focuses on the Love, Light & Laughter found along her journey. She founded the Facebook page @ https://www.facebook.com/HopeInRecoveryThroughLoveLightLaughterI . Patricia believes," that we can recover, we do recover and we will recovery by the Grace of God." Patricia is currently writing her story, the story behind "Hope in Recovery through love light, and laughter. It's scheduled to be done in December of 2016.

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